Jumat, 21 Mei 2010

saya tak tau apa yang saya rasa..

i don't know what i feel..
everything didnt have a taste..
bitter...
oh..bitter is also taste right..
maybe...only that taste that come to my mind..
in this last 2 days..

i don't what are the reason..
but..
every time i smile..
that lies sadness..
every sad face that i make..
contain some light of thankful..

i like an actor that can play 3 role in one film
happy, sad, and thankful.
happy because God still give me air to breath,
water to drink,
sunlight that lighten the world that very amazing.
sad because i lost some people that i love,
i am sad because i can't use my time wisely,
i am regret with myself.
i feel thankful because i am get better condition than other people that doesn't have house, living in the street etc.

every humor show that i watch cannot make me laugh..
every time that i gather with my friends..
make me feel so lonely..
i want to go to some place..alone..
watching everyone that have something that i haven't..
like a complete family..
a romantic couple..
i want to watch them until i cry..
i want to feel jealous..
i think that is the only way that can make me feel better
but there is some chance that will make me worst..
but its okay..

i want to build my spirit again..
put one part..and patch id in other part..
make their snap each other..
but until now..
i dont know how to do it..
follow the flow that earth and God make to me is the best way..
yesterday i was terribly sad..
today was sad..
i dont know about tomorrow..
i hope getting better..