saya tak tau apa yang saya rasa..

i don't know what i feel..

everything didnt have a taste..

bitter...

oh..bitter is also taste right..

maybe...only that taste that come to my mind..

in this last 2 days..

i don't what are the reason..

but..

every time i smile..

that lies sadness..

every sad face that i make..

contain some light of thankful..

i like an actor that can play 3 role in one film

happy, sad, and thankful.

happy because God still give me air to breath,

water to drink,

sunlight that lighten the world that very amazing.

sad because i lost some people that i love,

i am sad because i can't use my time wisely,

i am regret with myself.

i feel thankful because i am get better condition than other people that doesn't have house, living in the street etc.

every humor show that i watch cannot make me laugh..

every time that i gather with my friends..

make me feel so lonely..

i want to go to some place..alone..

watching everyone that have something that i haven't..

like a complete family..

a romantic couple..

i want to watch them until i cry..

i want to feel jealous..

i think that is the only way that can make me feel better

but there is some chance that will make me worst..

but its okay..

i want to build my spirit again..

put one part..and patch id in other part..

make their snap each other..

but until now..

i dont know how to do it..

follow the flow that earth and God make to me is the best way..

yesterday i was terribly sad..

today was sad..

i dont know about tomorrow..

i hope getting better..